Comedy

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The Dell D400

Kirstie was gazing at her new present lovingly. Gary had given it to her as a surprise, because he liked giving Kirstie surprises. He’s a bit of an old romantic is Gary.

Okay, so it was one of his cheap computers (no expense spared there then Gary?). But it was still a surprise.

Well, okay, maybe it wasn’t that much of a surprise. Gary gives Kirstie a new computer about once a month. Kirstie thinks he’s beeing nice – and Gary smiles nicely and says, that’s because he is nice – but really Gary is just using Kirstie as a guinea pig to try out their latest refurbished laptops.

The one Kirstie was looking at now was a Dell D400. It has a pink lid, and is very eye-catching. It is the sort of possession one feels like hugging. And being a laptop, hugging is really quite do-able.

And that was the first thing Kirstie did when she pulled it free from the wrapping paper (Gary always wrapped his presents up, because that’s the sort of person he is: thoughtful, kind…clever…he knows Kirstie trills at the sight of a wrapped present).

So what does this one do then luv? Kirstie asked.

Well, pet, said Gary, it’s ready to use straight out of the box for all your emailing, word processing, spreadsheets and so on, but you’ve also got Wifi wireless internet access, and Windows XP Pro, and a massive 40 gig hardrive. How about that then?

Cool, said Kirstie. It’s lovely.

And it’s got a wicked pink lid, eh?

I know, trilled Kirstie, it’s gorgeous!

She continued to hug it like she once hugged her pet pony, and kept stroking the lid with a huge smile on her face. But Gary was eager to see her try it out.

Well, plug it in then, he said a little impatiently.

Okay, said Kirstie, what’s the rush?

I need a letter written, said Gary.

That was typical of Gary too, always ended up spoiling the surprises. Kirstie gave him a look, as she booted-up the Dell, and entered Word.

Who’s it to then? said Kirstie a little grudgingly.

Venetia Tours.

Who are they, asked Kirstie.

The travel agent’s I’m booking our holiday with.

Kirstie looked up at Gary with surprise, and broke out into another wide smile.

Venice! We’re going to Venice?

Gary nodded his head pleased with Kirstie’s reaction.

Kirstie loved surprises.

And Gary loved providing them…

www.eflexcomputers.blogspot.com

*

The Dell d600

You know, have you ever considered how important the colour pink is? Gary said yesterday while musing to Paul.

Paul said he hadn’t. He didn’t like the colour.

Gary looked disappointed. Then he explained to Paul that pink was actually a sign of high social standing in Elizabethan times, and that the men used to wear pink tights under their funny waistcoats. There was a law in England called The English Sumptary Laws. It stated that only the lower classes, and the upper classes could wear pink clothing.

Maybe, said Gary, that is where the word “sumptuous” comes from.

Paul choked on his hob-nob, and scoffed that we don’t live in Elizabethan times.

Gary said that was not exactly true – what’s the name of the current Queen he asked. Paul conceded Gary had a point there, but in reality we were not living in the Middle Ages.

Gary went on to say that even in Victorian times, right up to the 1940s, pink was considered a manly colour, whereas blue was considered feminine because blue was the colour associated with the Virgin Mary.

But now it’s “pink for a girl, blue for a boy,” Paul pointed out helpfully.

Gary said he knew that, he was just pointing out to Paul the interesting history of the colour pink.

Why? asked Paul.

Gary said he was fascinated with colours. Always had been. If he hadn’t become a computer expert building cheap laptops he would like to have been an artist, a painter, like Vermeer. He liked nice shades of pink.

By now Paul was becoming a little suspicious. What the hell was Gary going on about with all this pink malarkey?

Gary ignored Paul and went on to explain that pink was considered to be a calming colour, and that the giving of pink carnations is symbolic of saying, ‘I will never forget you’. Softer shades are considered feminine, but darker shades are said to alleviate feelings of friction. It is the colour of joy, and happiness.

Pink is a quiet colour, said Gary, pink is the colour of the lovers of beauty, pink is a symbol of universal love! It gives off calm feelings, neutralises disorder, gives rise to relaxation, and contentment.

It is said that you should wear pink when you want to present yourself as a peaceful person, someone who is not threatening.

Ahah! said Paul triumphantly. I know what this about. You want me to wear pink at that business presentation, don’t you?

No, said Gary. But you will be taking the Dell d600 with you.

So, said Paul.

It has a pink lid, said Gary. I just thought you should have some knowledge of pink behind you.

Paul waved his hob nob at Gary. He’s such a wily character is that Managing Director of Eflex Computers…

*

Dell D610

Partners Gary and Paul are so proud of their service they sometimes go to extreme lengths to ensure their products reach the highest standards their customers expect. This sometimes means rigorous test-runs.

The Dell D610 is designed for people on the move, and is one of their most popular refurbished notebooks, being a high quality durable laptop suitable for business and home use.

The key words here are “on the move”. So to prove the D610’s capability Gary sent Paul on a mini road trip.

Where am I going then Gaz? asked Paul.

How about Glasgow?

Glasgow? Why Glasgow?

Dunno, says Gary, does it matter?

Paul shrugged his shoulders. Suppose not (although he did get the sense Gary was trying to get rid of him for the day).

So off he went, his Dell Latitude slung over his shoulder, Glasgow-bound.

Keep in touch, said Gary. This is a road test mate, not a jolly away day. What he meant was, ‘no chatting up the ladies’.

Paul looked dejected. Since Giselle the traffic warden had gone, he was feeling pretty lonely. An away day road trip was just what he needed – after all part of the adventure of an away day was hoping you might catch the eye of a beautiful stranger.

9.30am: Birmingham Train Station. Paul gets his ticket, has twenty minutes to wait, grabs himself an espresso and logs on to call Gary.

On my way, he types.

Okay, replies Gary.

Paul logs off, takes a glug of coffee, looks up, and sees a smiling face.

Hello, says Paul…

10.00am: The train to Glasgow arrives.

But Paul doesn’t get on. There is no sign of him. Gary doesn’t hear from him until 12noon.

On the train, says the message.

Okay, Gary types back. How’s the Dell holding up?

Fine, says Paul. The AC power adapters and battery are working well, the Intel Centrino 1.7 Ghz processor is up to scratch, the four ports are working perfectly, and the 40 gig hard drive is performing exceptionally. It’s a big thumbs up Gaz. And it’s compact silver appearance is getting some admiring looks too.

I hope you’re behaving yourself, says Gary.

Course I am, replies Paul, relax. It’s businessmen who are doing the admiring.

4pm: The train from Birmingham arrives at Glasgow.

I’m here, says Paul.

Okay, says Gary. Nice work. Hurry back.

Okay, Paul replies. There’s a train home in ten minutes.

4.10pm: The train to Birmingham departs.

4.30pm: Paul arrives back at the Eflex Computers offices.

Gary is bewildered.

What the hell?

I didn’t go, explains Paul. I didn’t get on the train to Glasgow.

What? Gary exclaims.

I bumped into Giselle earlier when having my espresso. She was meant to be going to a traffic warden’s convention in Wales. But we spent the day together at Birmingham zoo instead.

But…!

Relax. It was a good day. Giselle wants a cheap laptop, and I’ve sold ten D610’s to the zoo.

Gary shook his head: that Paul never ceases to amaze him…

www.eflexcomputers.blogspot.com